Fairy Tale, Nursery Rhyme
The Rambunctious Rhymer
“Naughty sounding words, good little rhymes.”
The Rambunctious Rhymer is Hollerphonic’s resident nonsense scholar, moral hazard, and emergency substitute teacher. Armed with a feather quill, a suspicious hat, and a complete lack of indoor voice, he takes naughty, awkward, and slur-adjacent words and wrestles them into tiny, ridiculous rhymes before they can hurt anybody.
His songs are short, catchy, and educational in the least reliable way possible. One minute he is defining a word, the next he is arguing with a goat, a gnat, or a stack of books that may or may not be legally binding. The goal is simple: take language that sounds dangerous, confusing, or socially radioactive, then turn it into something silly enough to disarm.
Part nursery-rhyme gremlin, part backwoods lexicographer, The Rambunctious Rhymer exists somewhere between a banned children’s book, a vocabulary lesson, and a court-ordered apology.
Archive notes
Lore
The oldest Hollerphonic catalog cards refer to him only as “the fellow with the rhyming hat.” Later documents identify him as The Rambunctious Rhymer, a traveling children’s performer from a country that does not appear on any reputable map.
According to archive legend, the Rhymer believed every dangerous word had a harmless twin hiding inside it. His job was to bonk the word with rhythm until the harmless twin fell out. This produced a series of tiny songs that were part vocabulary lesson, part nonsense chant, and part linguistic hazmat cleanup.
Parents objected. Children repeated them. Goats understood them immediately.
No full album has ever been verified. Most known recordings are under one minute long, suggesting either artistic discipline or frequent interruption by angry librarians.